Bill Shatner Discusses attending a recent Alzheimer’s Award Event

Bill Shatner Discusses attending a recent Alzheimer’s Award Event

WELCOME TO HOLLYWOOD

WELCOME TO HOLLYWOOD

by Bob Fraser

THE ACTOR’S TOOL KIT #25

If you’re planning on coming to Hollywood (or just got
here) – let me be the first old-timer to welcome you
to Tinseltown.

Here are three other old-timers, with some advice (and a
warning or two):

“Behind the phony tinsel of Hollywood lies the real tinsel.”
~ Oscar Levant

“Half the people in Hollywood are dying to be discovered and
the other half are afraid they will be.” ~ Lionel Barrymore

“You can take all the sincerity in Hollywood and stuff it in
the navel of a gnat … and still have room left over for
three caraway seeds and an agent’s heart.” ~ Fred Allen

Well, these stalwarts are unlikely to be topped by the likes
of me, but I will add my 24 cents (adjusted for inflation).

First, Fred Allen’s remark. This quote is generally reported
with two significant differences; “firefly” in the first
instance and “producer” in the second.

I actually heard Fred Allen utter this remark back in the
fifties – on a television show called Masquerade Party –
and I’ve got it right.

I know, because I wrote it down – and I still have that
piece of paper. (A tad anal retentive? Can we talk?)

Just listen to the alliteration … “navel of a gnat”
… then consider the difference between a producer (who
is usually a ‘true-believer’) and an agent.

Need I say more?

Bottom Line? My version is correct and the one that you
can find all over the internet must be a first draft.

Anyway, back to the subject at hand; like my predecessors,
I have some advisories (warnings) for you.

1. Don’t listen to the advice of other actors who are just
getting started themselves. If you listen, you will hear a
lot of cow poo – much of which starts with the words, “In
this town…”

This balloon juice is useless – and sometimes worse.

2. Find a decent place to live. Living in a garret is
all right if you’re a French impressionist painter – but
living like a starving artist is a good way to become a
starving artist and stay that way for a long time. Unlike
painters, actors are rarely discovered after they’re dead.

3. Take classes. There are two very good reasons for this.
First you will learn a lot from the acting teachers here
in LA. (There are many good ones.) And secondly, you will
begin to meet people. Since our business is one of constant
collaboration, it’s a good idea to get started on this
part of your career immediately.

4. TCB. Take care of business. What this means is looking
out for your finances in a realistic way, budgeting for
your career needs, saving for a rainy day (you’d be surprised
how many people think it doesn’t rain in LaLaLand – it does
and often), and generally acting like a responsible business
person. Even if that’s not you, ACT like it is.

5. Take care of yourself. Stay healthy. Although, thanks
to technology, there are increasing opportunities for dead
actors, why go to that extreme just to get another credit?
Eat well, exercise, drive carefully and don’t ingest too
much. (Food, drink or drugs.)

6. Relax. This is probably going to take awhile – and there
might be some pain involved. Keep in mind that pain is
inevitable, misery is optional. Breathe deeply. Take up a
hobby. Pay attention to the rest of the world. Anxiety,
frustration and worry will not make things go any faster.

7. Be nice to others.

This sneaky ploy works in all walks of life.

8. Don’t become a critic. We have plenty of critics already
and they add very little to the product we sell. A lot of
newcomers think that they will impress others with their
criticism of successful productions – that it’s a way to
look smart. Believe me, you won’t impress and you won’t
look smart. You’ll just come off as an amateur wannabe.
Instead, do what the stars do. Smile and say what the
stars say: “That was quite a picture!” “Well, what can I
say – amazing!” “You really had me going there.” Etc. This
is not called lying, this is called professional courtesy.

9. Decide that you’re here because you want to act for money.
Workshops, Equity-waiver, experimental films, etc. are all
fine to keep your ‘instrument’ tuned – but they can quickly
become a way of life if you are not determined to make money
at this. Be careful out there.

10. Try making a plan. I know this is a lot like homework,
but the results of sitting down for a few hours and really
determining what you want out of your acting career, are
truly amazing. Remember, “A bad plan, vigorously executed,
is better than no plan at all.” ~ Patton (the general, not
the actor)

Well, ten is a nice round number…

But if I were to go on to eleven, it would be this:

Do everything you can to be a happy person, right now.

If you think you can grouse today and then be happy someday…
in the future, I’m here to tell you that happiness just
doesn’t work that way. Putting off happiness until
’someday’ lasts forever.

If you can’t be happy where you are, it’s a cinch you can’t
be happy where you ain’t.

Okay, now you are warned and advised.

Go be wonderful.

“Reprinted from ACTOR’S TOOL KIT, the email course just for
subscribers of Show Biz How-To, the free e-zine for actors.

Get your own subscription at: www.showbizhowto.com

© 2007 Bob Fraser Productions All Rights Reserved”

The hottest women not on TV

When Creative Artists Agency makes the rounds in Hollywood, pitching the screenwriting talent of Tassie Cameron, they like to market the Toronto native as “the girl who writes like a guy.”

But rather than take offence at a comment some might construe as sexist, Cameron finds the whole thing highly amusing. “Hey, I like guys,” cracks the 38-year-old. “I listen to men. And if you look at what I’ve done, certainly a lot of it is very male-centric cop stuff,” says Cameron, whose TV credits include Would Be Kings, The Robber Bride and The Eleventh Hour. “I guess when I write, I channel my inner Hunter Thompson and go to town.”

So it’s fitting, then, that Cameron, daughter of journalist and author Stevie Cameron, is now in charge of the six-person team, four of whom are women, scripting the first 12 episodes of the psychologically charged elite-cop series, Flashpoint, set to air on CTV and CBS this summer. “Here I am on Flashpoint, a brawny testosterone show, says Cameron, “and I feel right at home.”

In the last 10 years, female screenwriters in Canada have made huge strides, muscling their way onto TV screens, leaving an indelible stamp on comedy, drama, and action series across network schedules. In fact, while women used to be a distinct minority in writing rooms, their numbers are now on par with men, who typically used to be hired to write action and comedy, while women were relegated to handle emotional and romantic scenes that required that “female touch.”

Coroner: Brando Son Died of Pneumonia

The Los Angeles County Coroner’s Office has determined that Christian Brando, the troubled son of Oscar-winner Marlon Brando, died of pneumonia, Assistant Chief Ed Winter told E! News Friday.

While the official report won’t be available for several weeks, Winter said the 49-year-old had no drugs or medications “of consequence” in his system and his death is considered to be of natural causes.

Brando died Jan. 26 at Hollywood Presbyterian Medical Center. His lawyer said at the time his client was suffering from pneumonia and had been hospitalized for about two weeks, but Brando had a history of drug abuse and his mother, Marlon Brando’s first wife, Anna Kashfi requested an autopsy.

Bush says no plans to attack Iran: interview

CRAWFORD, Texas (AFP) — US President George W. Bush said Friday he has no intention of attacking Iran, in an interview in which he also gave some advice to his successor on how to deal with the Islamic Republic.

Questioned during an interview with ABC television whether his intention was to not attack Iran, Bush replied: “Exactly” — although he refused to rule out the use of force altogether.

“I have always said all options need to be on the table, but my first effort is to solve this issue diplomatically,” he said from his Texas ranch.

Bush said he was not planning an attack, adding: “I’m chuckling, because, you know, from my perch, my perspective, these rumors happen all the time … I wouldn’t say they’re amusing. It’s part of the job, I guess.”

Plastics industry asks N.S. Liquor to reconsider dropping plastic bags

HALIFAX — Plastics makers are suggesting the Nova Scotia Liquor Corp. rethink its position on getting rid of plastic bags.

The Canadian Plastics Industry Association says it will hurt jobs and the environment.

Spokesman Duncan Cross says plastic shopping bags have one of the smallest environmental footprints and Nova Scotia leads the country in bag recycling.

He points out Atlantic Canada is also home to one of the largest bag manufacturers in the country, and the only plant in the country that not only recycles the bags but converts them back into new bags.

Alberta revamps royalties to spur drilling

CALGARY — Alberta is offering producers of deep oil and gas substantial royalty breaks, in an attempt to spur more drilling in the province and undo some of the harshest effects of last October’s royalty regime overall.

Under the terms of a new program announced yesterday, companies that drill deep wells will receive royalty offsets or credits, a move that will cost Alberta more than $1-billion over the next five years.

The province yesterday introduced two new royalty programs, a move aimed at relieving pressure on companies drilling high-cost, high-productivity wells that were seen as the most heavily penalized by the previous royalty regime changes last October.

“Addressing the unintended consequences with these programs will help Alberta achieve the necessary levels of investment and production to generate the royalties anticipated by the New Royalty Framework,” Energy Minister Mel Knight said.

Goalie star scores a hat trick

Like many Canadian actors tired of playing bit parts on U.S.-produced movies of the week and nameless characters on television shows with established casts – or, worse yet, enjoying the, ahem, artistic challenge of starring in eccentric Canadian indie films, the kind used as Cancon filler on pay-per-view cable stations – Christopher Bolton followed the Paul Gross/Sarah Polley/Daniel MacIvor plan and decided to write, produce and star in his own material.

Wise move. The result is the ribald sitcom Rent-a-Goalie (now filming its third season, with Season One already on the rental shelves) – a certified Showcase hit, with multiple Gemini and Canadian Comedy Award nominations backing up its popularity. Bolton plays the show’s anchor character, Cake, a recovering jerk with addiction issues trying to rebuild his life by serving coffee and advice to a gang of semi-pro rink rats who hang out in a College Street café.

Crude, toilet-obsessed, baldly sexual and far rougher than many an actual hockey game, Rent-a-Goalie is, despite its post-Sopranos love of the F-word, reminiscent of the feel-good comedies American networks produced before they became addicted to cheap reality television: comedies about oddballs trying to construct families with their fellow misfits. If Rent-a-Goalie were all shock and no soul, it wouldn’t have lasted past the first period.